Prevent an Unplanned Pregnancy: Talk to Your Children About Sex!

Talking to your children about sex isn’t the most fun thing to do. We all know it’s embarrassing, but if you truly sit and think about the consequences of NOT talking to your kids about sex, you may find it significantly less embarrassing. Kids who don’t know the truth about sex are more likely to end up with an unplanned pregnancy or something far worse like an incurable sexually transmitted disease (STD). Children want to know the truth, and they want it from the people they trust the most: their parents.

The first thing to know is: it’s never too late! It’s recommended that you start talking to your children in their early childhood years. But if you have pre-teens or teenagers that have somehow avoided the subject, don’t despair – they are never too old to learn about the truth! As soon as children start seeing any sort of “sexual messages” (pregnancies, Mom and Dad hugging, etc.) they will need to (and want to) at least know the basics. Another important thing for a parent to remember is to always be open and honest; always be available for a chat, no matter what the time of day.

When talking with your kids about sex and pregnancy information, craft your words and responses depending on the age of the child and his or her level of understanding. What is appropriate for a four year old is probably not going to fly with a pre-teen.

• When talking to a young child, you may tell them about the different body parts, or ask them if they know why boys look different from girls. They may also be curious about how babies get in and out of peoples tummies. Children are also never too young to know that their parents love each other and what that means.
• An older child may be ready to hear about relationships between men and women (or same sex relationships, but that’s a different article!), dating, and their bodies changing.
• Teenagers need to hear about pregnancy info, STDs, positive relationships with others and their own bodies, birth control and fertility, and the emotional aspects of intimate relationships.

When starting these conversations, parents can reference pregnant relatives or friends, TV shows or movies with pubescent characters, or even books specific to the subject. It doesn’t matter how you start the conversation as long as you tell your children the truth. Remember, a child who is old enough to ask the question is old enough to hear a truthful response! Children should also be informed about your family’s values and details that may be religion-specific; but make sure not to scare your children. For example, if you believe in complete abstinence before marriage, it is best to explain it in a way that will be open and honest with ‘earthly’ consequences rather than using scare tactics.

Remember that kids view their parents as experts on sexuality and relationships and are less likely to venture out into the world seeking knowledge on these topics if you give them forthright information about sex, unexpected pregnancy, STDs and relationships. Being embarrassed is normal – your kids may be embarrassed too – but it’s a topic that needs to be addressed at different times in a child’s life, by the people that have the most authority on every subject - their parents.

Lilly Gordon is a freelance author and web publisher. She writes on a variety of topics and is an avid supporter of educating children about safe sex and unplanned pregnancy.